Oh ice cream, how I adore you, and hate you at the same time…to the point that I haven’t had an ice cream cone in over a year.

Is it the inches you add to my butt and thighs?  Pah!  I could care less if it means indulging in a tasty treat.

If not calories and fat, why avoid such an amazingly delicious thing as ice cream?  Well world, one day, several years ago, my doctor was kind enough to point out a dairy allergy. No, I am not lactose intolerant. No, I do not have IBS. No, I am not one of those hipsters who only likes soy. Yes, I am indeed ALLERGIC to milk. Those of you who know my family know this to be a travesty. My mother believes milk and bananas will cure all ills. She presses at least one large glass of milk into your hand at every meal and more so on spaghetti night. How then can I be allergic to milk???  I LOVE milk!

Apparently this love is unrequited. As my K-dramas would say, it is one sided.

When I finally gave up dairy, several things happened — my dry eyes were suddenly damp, my headaches disappeared, and sadly, I broke a rib. Damn you dairy allergy!  I can’t prove that giving up milk was the primary cause of that break. I’m sure tripping over a running beagle while running myself and flipping tush over tea kettle probably contributed as well…but I’m also sure giving up milk didn’t help the situation.

Since that unfortunate time, I have indulged time to time, I even let myself have butter and deal with the headache and dry eyes.

Now that we are in England, I indulge in scones with clotted cream (and several headache and allergy remedies). The one thing I refuse to do is have a large quantity of dairy. In my book that means no ice cream (really, who can stop at a tablespoon????).

This wasn’t really a problem in the US    Non dairy ice cream options abound. We even had shops that sold coconut milk ice cream to the masses!  On cones!  Totally legit.

Not so much here…

After a year of searching for ice cream in stores and bemoaning the cost and space needed for an ice cream maker, today I decided this strike had to end. Today I would have an ice cream cone.

As any self respecting 30 something would do, I promptly catalogued my supplies and checked the internet to make sure they were sufficient.

Coconut milk–check
Cocoa powder–check
Cinnamon–check
Sugar–check
Vanilla–check
Large freezer bag–check
Small freezer bag–check
Ice–surprisingly, check
Rock salt–WTH?!? Rock salt???  Who has that in the kitchen?  Oh internet gurus, will Epsom Salt work? Maybe…hmm…worth a try anyway.

After assembling my ingredients in the small bag and the salt and ice in the large bag, I set about kneading the bag for 7-10 minutes. Or I would have, except after 2 minutes my husband took pity on me and took over.

This is where it all goes awry…

“Umm..we may have a problem,” says my nerdy software guy. This is not what I wanted to hear. I really didn’t want to see that the zipper had come undone on the inner bag and my glorious ice cream was rapidly mixing with the ice and Epsom salt 🙁

Did I give up?  Heck no!  I wanted ice cream. It’s been over a year!  So close!  At this point I looked desperately about the kitchen for two coffee cans of different sizes.  Tragically, I don’t drink coffee and the hubby mainly uses those little pods. Thwarted again!  Ready to give up?  I say nay!

Months ago, Thug Kitchen posted an ice cream recipe and did the most amazing thing. They put it in a bowl and froze it. What a novel idea!  Freeze stuff in the freezer. Why didn’t I think of that?

To ensure my ice cream wouldn’t just be a block of ice, I pulled it out ever 20 minutes and gave it a vigorous whisking. 1 hour later I indulged in a delicious scoop of chocolate cinnamon heaven.

For those of you experiencing a similar dilemma, and for others who may just want to try something new, I present to you my take on coconut milk ice cream aka chocolate cinnamon heaven.

1 can full fat coconut milk (hey, it’s good fat, deal with it)
1 heaping Tbsp cocoa powder
1.5 Tbsp sugar (I used Demerara but granulated or coconut sugar would be good. Honey would probably be awesome)
1.5 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp vanilla (mine is straight vodka with 10 vanilla beans aged several months, but no need to be fancy. When you go through so many bottles, it’s best to make it in bulk. Cheaper too thanks to duty free shopping).

Whisk all ingredients together until well incorporated. Place in glass bowl in freezer for 1 hour, removing and whisking vigorously every 20 minutes.

Once set to your preference, enjoy!  Store leftovers in a tightly sealed plastic freezer bag.

If you have any awesome coconut milk concoctions, let me know, it’s my milk of choice in the kitchen 🙂

Here are pictures of my attempts pre and post spillage and then final product. Yummy!

  

Learning to sew is something I never anticipated in my life. Work left very little room for creative pursuits and for the many years I did work outside of the home, I was a type A workaholic.

Since the birth of my son, I’ve felt my brain deteriorating–literally melting within my skull. Something about those many months of vomiting and not being able to take the prenatal vitamins…basically, he ate my brain.

I’ve decided now that he is two, it’s time for me to reopen some synapse pathways. This blog is one way I’m doing that, cooking odd desserts another, exercising twice a week and taking vitamins–because, why not?– and finally, for two months now I’ve been  trying to learn to sew.

I say “trying to learn to sew” because my attempts have been both hilarious and cringe inducing.

Today’s blog will introduce you to my latest victim:  Franken-sweats.

These sweats were actually intended for my brother in law as a Christmas gift, but after two full months of planning and working on them in my “free” time, I’ve conceded defeat. They are done, but absolutely cannot be given as a gift. Instead, my husband has graciously accepted them into his pajama drawer.

What went wrong?  EVERYTHING.

One important issue that I learned about thanks to these sweats is thread. All thread is NOT created equal. That thread I bought at the charity shop for 50 pence?  There is a reason it was 50 pence. That thread I bought at an alleyway sidewalk vendor for 79 pence?  There is a reason it was 79 pence. That one glorious thread that I bought online for $2.99 in the US and had my husband pick up from a friend while he was on a business trip?  Worth it’s weight in gold!!!

There are several different thread spools in these sweatpants. In fact, there are four. Two are glorious and two made me tear at my hair and bemoan the fates for allowing me to cheap out not once, but twice. Lesson learned.

Another lesson learned? Measure twice, cut once. This is a valuable lesson and I wish I would absorb it for once…and I thought I did…apparently I need to measure thrice.

The last lesson, and valuable above all the rest, is how to thread a bobbin. How many hours have I spent attempting this feat?  You don’t need to know. Suffice to say, I’m still working on it. Subject closed.

Wait, did I say that was the last lesson?  I was clearly confused. The most valuable lesson came a week after completion of Franken-sweats. I needed some pants and grabbed them from hubby’s dresser. What a shock!  These are literally the most comfortable sweats I’ve ever worn!  Sure, the tie is on the hip and one le is two inches shorter than the other, still so comfy!  Much like my cooking, while my sewing projects may be ugly, using superior ingredients (in this case materials) leads to a cozy final product.

I plan to share more of my sewing tragedies and hopefully one day triumphs as this blog continues. What do you think of Sewing Sunday?  That can be a thing, right?  Keep me honest people, keep me honest.

Enjoy these glamorous shots of Franken-sweats in action.

Well, I’ve neglected this blog for much too long. Now that Drake is sleeping slightly (emphasis on slightly) longer, it’s time to get writing. I’ve decided no topic is too small or too big to disqualify and as such, my next post will be about Hidden Bananas.

What are hidden bananas? Well, it’s Drake’s new name for a dessert I created this week. Like so many people, I have a solid sweet tooth, and also a solid guilt complex. Now that I have a child, it’s just not practical for me to be eating so much sugar, because then he wants it. Also, as a woman who lives with endometriosis and fibromyalgia, my addiction to baked goods often leads to painful cramping and inflammation. Add in the milk allergy that I ignore and hello headaches. How to get around this?

Hidden bananas was the answer this week.

Hidden bananas was an exploration in tapioca or sago as some call it. As a child, I only knew tapioca as that gross pudding my mom was always eating when we had chocolate or vanilla. I still don’t like traditional tapioca pudding…

After exploring the internet, I saw a common theme in asian cooking, using coconut milk as a base instead of cow’s milk. Score! We always have that in the house.

I soaked my small beads of tapioca for one hour, as the internet wisdom waffled between 15 minutes and overnight. After that, I rinsed them, drained, and added them to a pot of coconut milk and water that was brought to a swift boil. The internet was vague on this too. Most recipes called for 30 minutes on the stove. Mine was ready within 10 minutes. Just keep a close eye on it to make sure and keep stirring!! I checked by pulling up a spoonful and making sure the white center was gone.

In that coconut milk mix I added some muscavado sugar (dark brown sugar for us yanks), some of my homemade vanilla, and a pinch of salt.

After the tapioca looked cooked, I removed it from the stove and put it into an 8×8 pan to set up. Two hours later I tried it and it was…BLAND. Blech! No desire to put those fish eggs in my mouth.

What’s a girl to do? Big pot of bland tapioca, sweet tooth, kitchen full of options? Only one thing came to mind–CHOCOLATE 😀

So, I spooned out a serving, stirred in some Dutch processed cocoa powder and a dollop of runny honey. At this point I could have stopped, but I needed to make this a bit more toothsome to satisfy my craving. Hello banana.

This recipe actually ends up looking a bit nasty. Brownish muck with fish eggs and lumps of white goo. Drake took one look and told me he wanted a spoonful with the “hidden banana”. We’ve made it a game. He hunts out the banana slice he wants and that’s the spoonful he gets. In between, I shovel spoonfuls indiscriminately into my mouth. This stuff is ugly but it is delicious!

Next time I will add a bit of honey to the coconut milk instead of the muscavado sugar, which did nothing for me, and maybe add the cocoa powder at that stage too. We’ll see. For now I’m enjoying personalizing each portion.

For those of you adventurous types who would like to give this a try, here is a recipe to start with:

Hidden Bananas

1 cup small tapioca pearls (sago)
1 can full fat coconut milk
2 cans water ( I used coconut milk can)
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/8 cup honey or more to taste

Extra honey
Cocoa powder
Bananas

Soak tapioca pearls in 3 cups water for 1 hour. Rinse thoroughly and drain.

Whisk together coconut milk, water, vanilla, salt, and honey in a heavy bottomed pot over medium to medium high heat (depending on your stove/cooker). Add tapioca pearls and stir to combine.

Bring tapioca mixture to a rolling boil, whisking throughout. It’s ok to walk away for 30 seconds, but don’t push it, this is particularly important once the ingredients are boiling.

Once tapioca pearls are see-through and the white center is pretty much gone, remove from heat and pour the mixture into a heat proof dish. Allow to cool. I recommend storing this in the fridge as the flavor and texture are better the next day after chilling.

To serve, mix in cocoa powder, honey, and banana to taste. I use about 1/2 -1 tsp cocoa powder and 1 -2 tsp honey along with 1 banana for a 1 cup portion of tapioca mix. I’m not a calorie counter. If you are more of a small portion person, you will want to account for that in your mix ins.

I hope you enjoy this tasty vegetarian (not vegan) treat! Feel free to leave me suggestions for how you choose to revise this recipe as I’m always looking for variations on treats.